A guy who wants to be with you will compromise and find a way to make the relationship work, but any form of resistance is him subconsciouslytelling you that he wants to break up. The World Health Organization estimates that over264 million peoplesuffer from depression globally. The worst thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you. It would be someone to talk to to get this stuff off your chest without being called a baby and feeling like a annoyance to your boyfriend plus they will be able to help you gain some skills to deal with these feelings. Words fail to express how much you mean to me, but this is me using them anyway., 66. You can ask. If you're depressed by my first tip on what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship (accept him for who he is right now), I've got good news for you! He may not count it as much, but if loving him did something for you, tell him. How can you be 22 and have a PhD in psychology? His Non-commitment and his decisions to either stay with you or not can be one of the most toxic things. You could also send him a song, a voice note of you singing, or a video of you goofing around. In all of this, you still keep the butterflies in my belly fluttering., 70. my name is Aria Abasian and I'm the co-founder of relationshipwhatsup.com. The price you pay will be the same, but by using our affiliate links you are helping support our website. Some of the links on this website are affiliate links, and that means we may earn a commission if you click or purchase through those links. - Quiet Storm. Being in a relationship with a partner that gets depressed a lot can be incredibly challenging, no one prepares for that. A man will usually say this for the reason that he got what he wanted from you in the relationship. Instead of giving yourself hope that things will change, take what he says literally and walk away. It might be refreshing to hear from his partner that he isnt broken. Relationships, especially long-term relationships can get tedious and rudimentary at times, but that is when character and personality come into play. This would be nice on days when he has to cancel again, and he feels bad. All a man wants to accomplish in his life is sex. And they say goodbye to you instead, rather than keeping you around and making you stay in a mediocre and poor relationship. female Hes not ready to put in the time or effort, 7. I am still madly in love with him, but lately he has been doubting our future. He sounds depressed or has low self-esteem. Being in a relationship while battling depression takes a whole lot of effort. Healthy, truthful communication involves discussing those issues. I have no room left to be hurt"), better not resume this troubled long distance relationship, seems to me. Do you want to know how to respond when a man says that you deserve better than him? Thats why you need to ask to know the specific actions that work for your partner. Its his way of making you decide what you want. Help your depressed boyfriend by showing him that he is worthy. He may be suffering from an adjustment disorder because of the loss of his job and his friend, and a counselor would likely be able to help him with that. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. I would probably stay with him and encourage him to get treated for the depression. Are you wondering why on earth he would say something like that when you thought he was interested in creating a bright future with you? He was there for you emotionally. You have a choice: live with him being depressed or leave and grieve the relationship. HeyAlysia, He says things like I deserve better, that someone else will come along and I'll forget all . There is literally nothing you can do, only him. Before we got together we were best friends for about another year. When your boyfriend says this during a breakup, just take it for what it is. Dont just compliment his physical beauty, commend his mind too. If they knew how to be any other way, they would be. Thats the end all be all for men. Today he cursed at me because something didn't work out with his getting a new car. Whatever the case, hes not the right person for you. He wants to know that you are thinking about how great he is. Don't ever, ever, enter into relationships expecting/hoping that people change. On top of that, hes not ready to put in the time and effort that it takes to fix parts of himself. Hes simply done with the relationship, 12. You are more than worth it and that feeling you get deep down, that feeling is right. Many people prefer to go with the former, especially when the cause is still fresh, while others want nothing more than to share their pain with someone. He makes no attempt to make things workout between you. If you are in college, then your college may offer counseling. Can't take my own advice. How are we feeling today?, 86. He is so full of self-loathing that even thinking about getting a job that isn't manual labor and minimum wage makes him upset and angry because he feels stuck in a rut of hopelessness. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. He could have a mental illness or fear of intimacy. Instead, provide understanding, support and encouragement. He is 55 and i am 49. We genuinely appreciate your support. But you cant make your judgment and assume he wants to break up with you because of these words he uttered to you. Trusting someone means that they'll keep your . He has been going through a lot of changes in his life, and he's been distant and angry lately. having suicides thought every night and every morning (also says that he won't do it, because he knows that will kill his parents) he says that nothing can help him, he have tried several medication, several doctor and nothing works, he told me that Im a wonderful person and I deserve better, that he . Seeing your relationship challenges as an adventure requires a great deal of optimistic energy and Im guessing he could use that. 2. The typical amount of sex between couples might range from, every day to once a week to two days or three days a week. So in her mind, she thinks that if she dates you, you'll one day find that she's not that great, and you'll meet someone better and then leave her for someone else, so she just won't give you a chance in . I never really believed in love until you came along., 60. This could be because you have a better job or make more money. Your email address will not be published. So when they say you deserve better, clearly understand that they are saying I know I can not give you what you want, I once read a quote online which made me realize how unstable and unpredictable some people can be, and why you shouldnt invest all you have in them before being sure of their character. Sometimes we can love so blindly that we can love the person that is being cruel to us. I'd say just leave, as rough as it sounds, it's better that he only ruin his own life. therefor has to go to a lower education school. Oh they are busy they just have some family issues they cant express themselves emotionally. But where a man draws the line of success is when he can attract the women he desires. I have a great friend whose boyfriend is going through depression, and says the "you deserve better" line to her. I was always there for him - supported him when he was going through a rough time being unemployed, helped him to find a new job, spent hours and hours talking about his feelings, his issues. If you want a serious relationship with someone, pay attention when he says that you deserve better. I have met many guys who just got into their first relationship. This sounds more like an issue with clinical depression than poor relationship skills. When you cant put your feelings into words, just hold my hands, and Ill understand., 83. People who say that typically don't value themselves very much but think highly of the person they're saying it to. Its a common topic when a relationship comes to an end. A These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. In reality, this could be due to various things. Youre worth beyond a thousand reasons why. If youre in a long-distance relationship, this should help. Right now my boyfriend makes me feel upset and depressed. Youre the most amazing human I know., 39. Hell worry that you may stop being attracted after seeing him at his lows. I understand that the concept of unconditional love is new to you. But out of nowhere your boyfriend hits you with this line You deserve better? It can drive anyone crazy. But the way you can find out if this is the reason he is doing this is to check how quickly he moves on from the conversation and accepts your argument when you told him that I am enough for him. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. If your relationship is short-distance, you can always pull up at his place if hes the type of person who doesnt like to be alone when hes sad. What do you think is best for her to do? Read How to Help Someone With Depression for more tips on helping depressed boyfriends. Statements like this could help alleviate that. The truth is that he could have been a better man for mehe just didn't care enough to be. First He genuinely cares for you and does not want you to be trapped with him,in this case he does actually love you and wants you to have what you deserve. Depressed boyfriend!!! Let him know hell never be a burden to you. even if it isnt me or my presence right now. He may also want to give you more attention than you prefer. And in turn, hurt us more if things wouldnt work out. When men say you deserve better, they think that you deserve the world. By It'll be no use in trying to keep him around. When he's caught in a depressive episode, your boyfriend may be feeling uniquely alienated, isolated, or hopeless. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. He knows the difference between a girl he just wants to have fun with and a girl he sees a real future with, and you just so happen to be the latter. We have faced many problems (I lost my job, he's about to loose his job, etc), and I was always willing to work on our problems as a team. Sounds like he needs to see someone. that's all there is to say. A minority of men can see past their lies and the toxic traits they bring to the relationship. depressed boyfriend says i deserve better. Talk to him about his feelings to determine what that reason is. Remind him that isnt true by telling him this often. Youll usually hear this after youve established a relationship. I personally have encouraged her to reevaluate the relationship. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Instead, provide understanding, support and encouragement. Depressed people are our friends, our siblings, our parents, our partners; and they deserve all the support they can get. They mean that you can find someone much better than them. I can't diagnose your BF as having clinical depression based on a few comments written by you in a post. 07/19/2016. Maybe he found someone else. Instead of breaking up with you, he wants validation. Knowing when talk and when to listen: When your boyfriend is depressed, it can be hard to know what to say and do. It sounds very honorable on his part. Never get tired of saying these powerful three words. Or you could block him completely to add a bit of mystery. Below is the information about depressed boyfriend says i deserve better . Honestly, he just doesnt want to stay with you and sees his life is better without you in it. I have learned and keep on learning about all the ins and outs of a relationship for both men and women. He loves you so much and wants to genuinely see you happy. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Have you ever had a man that did everything right? I want to follow mine up with actions, how can I do that?, 81. Remember, different strokes for different folks. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial.". If he doesnt want to talk to you on the phone or to continue the text conversation, then take this as him wanting to have space and avoid communication. Its okay to put yourself first, darling. Despite them being in their first relationship for a long time, they sometimes find discontent in the relationship. Your determination to get to the light at the end of the tunnel fuels mine., 69. Sometimes, this is all you can do. Feb 06, 2017. Do you have other things you like to hear or words that work for someone you know? This is all youre gonna get outta me!" 87 Sweet Things To Say To Your Boyfriend When He's Depressed 1. Instead of telling you that he doesnt want to spend a long period of his life with you, hes using this phrase to make it sound nice. He is telling you that he isn't ready to become a better person for you, someone that does deserve you. "I'm here for you." One of the sweetest things you can do for a depressed partner is to reassure them of your commitment. Depression is a recurrent illness which is likely to resurface later. Maybe he knows that hes going to be abusive or cheat. Do you wish more than anything to make him happy? Make him feel like your rock as much as he relies on you for support. They can be particularly handy on low days. But it turns out when we suppress one emotion . He cant bring himself to be honest. Anyway, read on for my ideas of sweet things you can say when your partner is feeling depressed. They can own up to it. Its a secret background check and tracker tool. I told her I support her whatever she decides, but knowing her, i know the last thing she wants to do is leave him. Its his way of telling you that he thinks youre great but he doesnt , He thinks youre stuck up. So, before we get into the details. Sometimes this is all he wants to hear from you. I know you know this is very treatable, and it must be painful for you to watch, like a train wreck in slow motion. You shouldnt just say this, though. When they first met, he was not depressed. And hence they develop this taste to get out there and expand their experiences with other women. www.opendialoguemediations.com. Validate his emotions by telling him hes not crazy. He says you can do better because I bet he honestly believes that. Posted by ; Easing his anxiety will make him feel more loved in the relationship. This is the same as when a boy says you deserve better. He doesnt like you as much. "I'm not going anywhere." Let him know you're in it together, but only if you mean it. He knows that his personality is the way it is. Men that are in love with you will always say you deserve better because they think that you deserve the best of everything. When he tells you that you deserve someone better, don't jump to the conclusion and take this as a compliment. He got you all kinds of nice gifts. Early on in the relationship, it's important to set boundaries and enforce them. because in his case, he might speak from a place of feeling unworthy and ---- depressed, so he might worry that he is not good enough for her in his current state of mind. No he doesn't mean it. I have been with my boyfriend for six years, and all our relationship he has suffered with depression. My (22/f) boyfriend (24/m) and I have been together for over a year, and I've recently been finding out more things about him that really bother me. My advice is leave reddit and go see someone yourself like a couples counselor. Whether he doesnt know what he wants or that he just wants to sleep with many women, it is important to hold yourself of high value. She may have problems with confidence and self esteem. That is something that counseling alone or counseling combined with medication could most likely resolve. He's 24, so I'm guessing that he could possibly mature more as he gets older? You were there, and so was I, and we were happy., 68. But the main belief is that he wants to break up with you. Its his way of trying to tell you that he thinks very highly of you. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin.