Thankyou for everyones comments i have been the a really difficult time i met a man i loved he put me threw hell i never from one day till the next what he was going to do or say he played me for a fool.. So finally given my religious views, (yes I know sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) I decided that I would keep the baby and not terminate. His narc injury was far too great, and he knows I know exactly who he is. I was in a relationship with a Narc for 6 months he even proposed we got engaged! I went to counciling for several years, and what i always remember is that the councilor said, when your children are older they will be able to decide and make their own decisions on who to believe. What do I get ? The more I read about Narcissism and being in the situation the more I felt like an outsider looking in, I loved my ex more than anyone previously, fell for the sad stories and I would bend over backwards to make him feel happy and content which was never respirocated. The first and most important is who initiated the breakup? Are they there to help your child live a normal life? undefined Start the healing process. Its safe to say that the longer youre in a relationship with a narcissist, the longer youll have to wonder will the narcissist come back after dumping you?. Ive been reading up on articles such as, making sense out of a very strange relationship. I was literally a broken. But i found out his game so now his the fool. He still hasnt gotten over me leaving him, done some very low down rotten things to me..trying to get ppl to think of me as a nothing. We should get married. I was a volunteer, with no self esteem. I lived the exact same situation in a boomerang for 5-years. After all, as children, they were either ignored by their caretakers, constantly criticized by them, or held to unrealistically high standards they couldnt meet. I never asked anything from him. Thank you Jesus. They of course, believed their dad as he was very convincing to them and of course as you know kids are impressionable. Maybe I will loose my life. Hong long does it take for a Narcissist to come back? i was propose to be marriage by a love one, but he suddenly changed his mind just because he found him self a new love, my heart was broken and so devastated to the extend of committing suicide, a friend of mine introduce me to a powerful doctor called Dr. KATE. I could not pay for a private investigator so i decided to confront her myself and ask her about the messages on her computer and like instantly she came out clean but i wished i never asked her because it was like she needed me to see those messages in the first place. Daughter says she dont think its over but that was before I sent the text to come get his shit; he hasnt responded but if he does, Im ignoring him. Just got word that he wants to come back, and move back in like nothing has happened. ? All during the relationship, he has accused me of cheating and lying when I have done no such thing. If you don't give him compliments, he will find someone that will. I was mad and at the same time sad but i was going to find out how true they where before i ask her or rather before i was going confront her about what i know about sexual relationship with her boss. Im praying for u. Melanie Your story is my life. Anyway I took him back after he promised to change etc. I cried and cried and she just got move violent. The desperate attempts are him just trying to fill the void inside him again. Punches me breaking my nose spits in my face I scream my nose is broke he then starts to hit me more saying. Over time they start to devalue you and in doing so, eliminate your ability to make them feel better about themselves. I feel like Im getting my old self back. Another part of me wants to give myself a chance to actually have a life. My question is did you and your ex have children? These are all things that can help you build a case about his character if he goes as far as pushing for custody of the child. If there are kids involved on communicate when absolutely needed. Then I messaged him thru FB, saying hey Im sorry for that. While narcissists have an inflated sense of pride, they have no qualms about returning to a relationship if they think it will benefit them. Mine also brainwashed the spirits of my sweet sweet children, and to see that happen hurts more than the destroying of my own soul and spirit. Youre most valuable to them after youve put your life back together. I am here to share my experience with all of you. Had a on /off relationship with him for 16 more terrible years..we have two kids who now are adults. The basics: He is a trucker, I worked in a truck stop restaurant; he saw me, wanted to talk to me so he passed that on to my co-worker who used to date his brother. This was after he told me he was taking me to terminate, and he instead took me to a prolife clinic in which showed me slide shows and pictures and terrible images of aborted fetus. Enough! I knew I was probably in for an emotional hit. I could get the materials myself and mail it to him via ups or come down to his holy ground or send down the cost of the materials to him which is less expensive that all other options. The. And I finally blocked him. Im at a very low point but Im not going to let him take me down. 2. So glad I did, things went quiet from him over the weekend. ? He had me call up my landlord and give 30 days. I really liked this guy so I said. The next day, he shows up and starts cutting my grasswhy? Wants to be taken care of while he entertains at the bar. 11 Typical Examples of Narcissist text Messages. If genetic factors are involved nothing helps. You'll be left wondering what went wrong. The circumstances of the breakup, your exs mental health and self-esteem, and your willingness to communicate with the narcissist post-relationship all come into play. He has filled her head with so much insanity to the point of complete confusion. Im starting to believe those that call others narcissists are actually the narcissist. and while they might say they have changed this is only a ploy to get you back under their thumb. Thank you for the great info and strength to stay no contact.. 1.) Doing to others to try to jump ship at this point I feel like I need him. Then he springs on me. We chatted for months. Aka Cooper. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. I am now 38 I met him when I was 26 he was 48 he used me I allowed this now I feel like running him over he is 60 a crack head and I was as well. . He never did. they idealize you, love bombing you with praise, telling you how wonderful you are and how great you make them feel. I knew my narc for many years in the City we live in. We have said , goodbye, so many times. I wish I left years ago he is worse than ever and now doing drugs which make him more volatile and abusive. You are still there, you are still smart, strong, capable. So I just deal with the light. I never had a healthy relationship ever and I am 45years old..but its never to late to love yourself. He bought her a new car hoping she would sleep with him, when she did not he got mad. I debated for a while but against my better judgement, I said I would when he was ready but that I wasnt going to wait the 9 years like the woman he was cheating on his wife with. Im in college now in a country town where everybody knows everybody. 1. Or does that abbreviation stand for something else? They are serial cheaters (if somatic). I wanted to check in to see how you and your son are doing and how that situation turned out. This man was a good liar and cheated on me the entire relationship when I found out for sure I left him and never looked back! They will drain you If you stay! I speak from experience. just focus on now and present and if he tries to focus on the past you dont live there la use the past cannot be unchanged its what you do going forward the changes also learn to be emotionally intelligent and when triggered learn to process respond not react work on this they hate that trust me but dont get big headed focus on the plan and Ur child. groveling) theyll change tactics and might even ask you to forgive them. I am still dealing with it due to the inability of No Contact I have learned so much over these years of how damaging the effects are It hurts when the children are also victims.. Ive been divorced for 9 years now Praise the Lord. No man buy a new car for his separated wife that is telling him she is going to move out. Hes a narcissist himself so hes an expert, but limit your consumption of his stuff to the very basics. They tend to have high self-esteem, be bold and assertive and feel happy and confident about their lives. Wife number 3 who like exactly like his daughter. Dont have your info, open to a friendship, but I need space! Apart from the fact I can no longer drive, what I find to be very depressing is it strongly appears a fair amount of the psychological damage is permanent. Men who are victims of Narcissistic Women usually find it embarrassing to comment or make mention of the abuse. I read about reproductive coercion. Narcissists dont have a timetable, they only have alternate sources of supply. In spite of all this, i still dont regret leaving him and all the grief, to get away from him was the best thing i did for my sanity. I was in a 2 year relationship with an amazing man. Im Mentally & physically broken down. And I did! She came back to wish me happy birthday in May and I called her and told her not to mess with my head.. she said she promises that there will be no more tears. There were times when I thought wouldnt it be great if I were dead or if she were dead so that I do not need to cause her so much anguish or I dont need to feel depressed any more. Never said. It was the anniversary of my moms passing. Good for you. When you add that less than 1 in 100 people have an NPD then its clear this label is being used to manipulate people. He said I wouldnt have to do that with him because he wouldnt stick around where hes not wanted. Nope. I could never get a job, for each job I had he showed up to work and in one way or another got me fired.. or I had to quit.. To have a new victim. Jus they out. Follow. Check out her Narc Abuse Recovery Program. Ive tried the no contact, only to have him show up at my door. My roommate was like dude he needs to call before he shows up. She was normal for some days and then broke up again. He may have tried to text or call. I discovered that he was lying to going to certain members of his family and making horrendous lie about my children and I. Then I find out hes married. After 36 years I finally broke free. Do the right thing and look after her. ive a chilminder other days even though hes not working. She has helped alot of narcissitic abuse victims. my advice is get your head straight FOCUS on your child NOT HIM my ex did the same to me with head games stay smart work with local authorities if involved document your childs behaviour any marks injury tiredness apprance when coming bk from dad. Of course its all my fault. Simply contact the great Dr.Mack If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you., Thank you Dr Mack for saving my broken relationships and brought my boyfriend back to me! email him at: dr.mack201@ gmail. He texted me he had a meltdown of his mind of me, I was his goddess and he was stupid, he was loved and happy with me, we were amazing together and we look so great together. His mama is also a pos. Thank you for this . This only added fuel to the fire . A police officer even told him to leave me alone. To a woman. Anyway, so that night, we were hanging out, I remember most things quite clearly, but we went into my bedroom, and were kissing. All I wanted was face to face closure. I wrote letters, cards. I was able to get enough money out of him this third time to purchase a small home, I went to school and became a nurse. I really dont know what to do. . I than left, and he started full pursuit again. Yes, true. $ am gonna expose you It gets better . While I always thought it was a conflict of personalities, I have recently come to realise that I might have NPD which has been the trigger to all our issues. They are afraid that you will leave them because deep down, narcissists all have a fear of abandonment that they will project on to you. He was always chatting with so called female friends. To a bar. I dont care if I dont have a car; hed been holding the fact that I had no job or working car over my head this entire relationship. You deserve respect and true love!!! The man is a Narcissist and a sex addict. I questioned him; he gave me a random excuse and I told him he has a chance to come clean if he was still seeing someone else, which he denied. Then 60 daysnothing. ending 6 years with NPD Amazing the red flags I ignored and scenarios in here that I didnt even realize was a red flag, but are described as perfectly as if you had been living here with us. Im so sorry this happened to youand I cant imagine the angst you must feel. Your narcissistic ex isnt capable of caring about you, only about how you make them feel. These personality features are a reactionor better, overreactionto truly enormous self-doubt. When a narcissist is in a relationship with someone they become part of the narcissist. Leaving is hard but it can be done. He is 84 years old and still screwing like hes 18 because he hasnt worked a day in 45 years. I did everything for him whenever he needed help with something, I love him so much and cared about him a lot. She would turn back like nothing happened. He acted the same way, with the mother of his daughterwhen I was married to him. Those high in narcissistic admiration, on the other hand, seemed to be buffered from experiencing these types of negative emotions. I just came across this post and i felt i was rading about me. The behavior that was unexceptable showed up right away but I was so desperate to be love and we had alot in common so I tried to fix it and ended up very sick as a result of me not see the truth. He uses everything against me, makes threats, twists stories around to make himself look good, in the process of baiting in his next Victim.