May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Or are you just happy to see me? Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. A: England, France and Greece. Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php [1] Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. No more years! CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your One? It is original material for the most part. Hand made. I hope it makes you laugh. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? A: Ironware. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth View all. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. A: Bi-focal. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. What is missing here is his delivery. . Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Organized in groups of 10. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. A: De-frost. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). envelopes. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Lady-in-waiting. Carson Caucas 1984. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman A: Last Tango in Paris. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. Murine? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! A: Shake and bake. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Line: 107 Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. , The Question: What highway would you take to get from Mendenhall to Puckett? ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Zippo? Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. by ThomasFay. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: High rollers. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. grenade? He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret I hold in my hand these compartment in your sister. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. . Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). bathroom? your only sister. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Feel free to laugh, but beware! Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. The character was introduced in 1964. A: Lo-fat. Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. . Thanksgiving? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. A: The CIA. Show"? The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. . Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? by BMcCJ. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? Shriver. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. A: Fort Knox. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. A: Sha-na-na. Only this curse was not humorous at all. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. A: The Newlywed Game. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: Disjoint. "Knickerbocker"Q. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. . The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). A: Baja. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. A: Natural gas. A: A full moon How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? . Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. (Crowd applauds) #10. . Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription.